It’s been quite a week. As I shared in my previous post, last July I made the conscious decision to transform my money story for the better. That decision has led to the most tumultuous year I’ve ever experienced and I wouldn’t change a minute of it.
This week during my coaching session with Drew Ryder, I realized that I held most of my angst at the cellular level. Up until now I constantly lived in fear of making mistakes, I was terrified if anyone criticized me. I was an incredible perfectionist.
It began to make sense when I reflected on the fact that as a Black woman from Jamaica, my ancestors were slaves to British owners. A slave could be killed or sold to more abusive owners if she made a mistake. Her mistakes could cause other slaves to be punished.
Wow! That explained why my parents were such perfectionists, that’s what they learned. Perfectionism is on the cellular level for most people of African descent in my experience. But I decided that I don’t want to live as a perfectionist. Nor do I want to live as a Black woman who hates white people.
Drew Ryder coached me through an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) process to release my rage towards the owners of my ancestors. In addition Drew suggested that I scream my rage out to release it. After all, slaves were not allowed to express their rage and I held my rage in my throat.
I wrote a forgiveness letter to the owners of my ancestors. I fully expressed my rage telling them off for their abusive behavior to my ancestors. I tapped (practiced EFT) on my feelings, screamed and journalled my fury. I also practiced the Forgiveness Prayer practice (a contemplative practice from the Centering Prayer tradition).
After I practiced the Forgiveness Prayer, I tore up my forgiveness letter and flushed it down the toilet. I wanted to release the energy of rage from my apartment. I listened to the Agape International community song “I Forgive Me” while I flushed the letter, but I sang it as “I Forgive Thee,” forgiving the owners of my ancestors as well as my ancestors for giving me this angst.
I feel much lighter in my spirit since I did this practice to release ancestral rage. My shoulders feel much lighter. My appetite is smaller because up until now I would overeat when I was enraged. So by releasing ancestral rage I have also made a positive impact on my eating habits.
The work I did this week is amazing when you realize that Drew Ryder is a British man living in Spain. I’m from Jamaica and my ancestors were slaves to British owners.
Doesn’t that show that the Divine has an amazing sense of humour? A British man living in Spain facilitates the healing of a Jamaican woman in Canada.
Is there someone in your life that you sense you need to forgive? As you watch the following video, reflect on how forgiving that person could free you to manifest your dreams and transform your life.
I did and it has made all the difference to me.
Blessings of joy,
“The Joyful Freedom Diva”